BOOK I
THE PROMPTINGS OF THE IDEAL
It was noon. Sir Edward had stepped from his brougham, and was
proceeding on foot down the Strand. He was dressed with his usual
faultless taste, but in alighting from his vehicle his foot had
slipped, and a small round disk of conglomerated soil, which instantly
appeared on his high arched instep, marred the harmonious glitter of
his boots. Sir Edward was fastidious. Casting his eyes around, at a
little distance he perceived the stand of a youthful bootblack.
Thither he sauntered, and carelessly placing his foot on the low
stool, he waited the application of the polisher's art. "'Tis true,"
said Sir Edward to himself, yet half aloud, "the contact of the Foul
and the Disgusting mars the general effect of the Shiny and the
Beautiful--and, yet, why am I here? I repeat it, calmly and
deliberately--why am I here? Ha! Boy!"
The Boy looked up--his dark Italian eyes glanced intelligently at the
Philosopher, and as with one hand he tossed back his glossy curls from
his marble brow, and with the other he spread the equally glossy Day &
Martin over the Baronet's boot, he answered in deep, rich tones: "The
Ideal is subjective to the Real. The exercise of apperception gives a
distinctiveness to idiocracy, which is, however, subject to the limits
of ME. You are an admirer of the Beautiful, sir. You wish your boots
blacked. The Beautiful is attainable by means of the Coin."
"Ah," said Sir Edward thoughtfully, gazing upon the almost supernal
beauty of the Child before him; "you speak well. You have read Kant."
The Boy blushed deeply. He drew a copy of Kant from his blouse, but in
his confusion several other volumes dropped from his bosom on the
ground. The Baronet picked them up.
"Ah!" said the Philosopher, "what's this? Cicero's 'De Sonertute,'--at
your age, too! Martial's 'Epigrams,' Caesar's 'Commentaries.' What! a
classical scholar?"
"E pluribus Unum. Nux vomica. Nil desperandum. Nihil fit!" said the
Boy enthusiastically. The Philosopher gazed at the Child. A strange
presence seemed to transfuse and possess him. Over the brow of the Boy
glittered the pale nimbus of the Student.
"Ah, and Schiller's 'Robbers,' too?" queried the Philosopher.
"Das ist ausgespielt," said the Boy modestly.
"Then you have read my translation of Schiller's 'Ballads'?"
continued the Baronet, with some show of interest.
"I have, and infinitely prefer them to the original," said the Boy,
with intellectual warmth. "You have shown how in Actual life we strive
for a Goal we cannot reach; how in the Ideal the Goal is attainable,
and there effort is victory. You have given us the Antithesis which is
a key to the Remainder, and constantly balances before us the
conditions of the Actual and the privileges of the Ideal."
"My very words," said the Baronet; "wonderful, wonderful!" and he
gazed fondly at the Italian boy, who again resumed his menial
employment. Alas! the wings of the Ideal were folded. The Student had
been absorbed in the Boy.
But Sir Edward's boots were blacked, and he turned to depart. Placing
his hand upon the clustering tendrils that surrounded the classic nob
of the infant Italian, he said softly, like a strain of distant
music,--
"Boy, you have done well. Love the Good. Protect the Innocent. Provide
for the Indigent. Respect the Philosopher.... Stay! Can you tell me
what _is_ The True, The Beautiful, The Innocent, The Virtuous?"
"They are things that commence with a capital letter," said the Boy
promptly.
"Enough! Respect everything that commences with a capital letter!
Respect ME!" and dropping a halfpenny in the hand of the boy, he
departed.
The Boy gazed fixedly at the coin. A frightful and instantaneous
change overspread his features. His noble brow was corrugated with
baser lines of calculation. His black eye, serpent-like, glittered with
suppressed passion. Dropping upon his hands and feet, he crawled to the
curbstone, and hissed after the retreating form of the Baronet the
single word--
"Bilk!"
BOOK II
IN THE WORLD
"Eleven years ago," said Sir Edward to himself, as his brougham slowly
rolled him toward the Committee Room, "just eleven years ago my
natural son disappeared mysteriously. I have no doubt in the world but
that this little bootblack is he. His mother died in Italy. He
resembles his mother very much. Perhaps I ought to provide for him.
Shall I disclose myself? No! no! Better he should taste the sweets of
Labor. Penury ennobles the mind and kindles the Love of the Beautiful.
I will act to him, not like a Father, not like a Guardian, not like a
Friend--but like a Philosopher!" With these words, Sir Edward
entered the Committee Room. His Secretary approached him. "Sir Edward,
there are fears of a division in the House, and the Prime Minister has
sent for you."
"I will be there," said Sir Edward, as he placed his hand on his chest
and uttered a hollow cough!
No one who heard the Baronet that night, in his sarcastic and
withering speech on the Drainage and Sewerage Bill, would have
recognized the Lover of the Ideal and the Philosopher of the
Beautiful. No one who listened to his eloquence would have dreamed of
the Spartan resolution this iron man had taken in regard to the Lost
Boy--his own beloved Lionel. None!
"A fine speech from Sir Edward to-night," said Lord Billingsgate, as,
arm and arm with the Premier, he entered his carriage.
"Yes! but how dreadfully he coughs!"
"Exactly. Dr. Bolus says his lungs are entirely gone; he breathes
entirely by an effort of will, and altogether independent of pulmonary
assistance."
"How strange!" And the carriage rolled away.
BOOK III
THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD
"Adon Ai, appear! appear!"
And as the Seer spoke, the awful Presence glided out of Nothingness,
and sat, sphinx-like, at the feet of the Alchemist.
"I am come!" said the Thing.
"You should say, 'I have come,'--it's better grammar," said the Boy-
Neophyte, thoughtfully accenting the substituted expression.
"Hush, rash Boy," said the Seer sternly. "Would you oppose your
feeble knowledge to the infinite intelligence of the Unmistakable? A
word, and you are lost forever."
The Boy breathed a silent prayer, and handing a sealed package to the
Seer, begged him to hand it to his father in case of his premature
decease.
"You have sent for me," hissed the Presence. "Behold me,
Apokatharticon,--the Unpronounceable. In me all things exist that are
not already coexistent. I am the Unattainable, the Intangible, the
Cause, and the Effect. In me observe the Brahma of Mr. Emerson; not
only Brahma himself, but also the sacred musical composition rehearsed
by the faithful Hindoo. I am the real Gyges. None others are genuine."
And the veiled Son of the Starbeam laid himself loosely about the
room, and permeated Space generally.
"Unfathomable Mystery," said the Rosicrucian in a low, sweet voice.
"Brave Child with the Vitreous Optic! Thou who pervadest all things
and rubbest against us without abrasion of the cuticle. I command
thee, speak!"
And the misty, intangible, indefinite Presence spoke.
BOOK IV
MYSELF
After the events related in the last chapter, the reader will perceive
that nothing was easier than to reconcile Sir Edward to his son Lionel,
nor to resuscitate the beautiful Italian girl, who, it appears, was
not dead, and to cause Sir Edward to marry his first and boyish love,
whom he had deserted. They were married in St. George's, Hanover
Square. As the bridal party stood before the altar, Sir Edward, with a
sweet, sad smile, said in quite his old manner,--
"The Sublime and Beautiful are the Real; the only Ideal is the
Ridiculous and Homely. Let us always remember this. Let us through
life endeavor to personify the virtues, and always begin 'em with a
capital letter. Let us, whenever we can find an opportunity, deliver
our sentiments in the form of roundhand copies. Respect the Aged.
Eschew Vulgarity. Admire Ourselves. Regard the Novelist."
END
